The other day, I met for coffee with two new friends who wanted me to share insights about Marketing and my job-seeking experience in Finland. Both of them had heard about me in different ways—one was referred by a friend, and the other had met me at an event some time ago—and they reached out via LinkedIn. They came from different backgrounds and were at different stages of their journeys, but they shared a common goal: striving to find opportunities to prove themselves in a new place, far from Vietnam. For each of them, I arranged a separate coffee session to get acquainted, listen, and share my experiences as a mentor—as someone who’s been in their shoes.
Talking to them, I saw a reflection of my younger self—a version of Duc in the early years of his career, full of questions but not knowing who to ask, or even realizing there were questions I needed to ask myself. I still regret not having the opportunity to meet a mentor back then. Looking back, most of my journey was about “swimming on my own.” But, to be fair, I was fortunate to meet a lot of incredible people—brothers, sisters, and friends—who, though not officially mentors, taught me a lot, from professional skills to mindset and how to approach life.
This wasn’t the first time someone reached out to me. In the past few years, I’ve been proud to mentor quite a few people. While I haven’t kept count, it must be around 20 or 30. Some were through formal mentor-mentee programs run by organizations, with set start and end dates and structured programs. Others were “unofficial” coffee sessions, Google Meets, or Zoom calls, where I got to know and share with many people I was fortunate to connect with. Some of them have since made progress in their careers, which always brings me joy.
Whenever someone reaches out, if they don’t proactively suggest a meeting, I always offer to set up a coffee session. If they’re also in Helsinki, we can meet in person. Firstly, I’m lazy when it comes to messaging and quite dislike typing on my phone. Long messages with multiple points can take me an hour to write. Not to mention, texting can easily lead to misunderstandings. I’ve also turned off notifications on my phone and only check messages on my computer (so I often read messages on my phone but forget to reply…). Secondly, when it comes to meeting new people, I prefer face-to-face conversations because it allows me to pick up more indirect cues from the other person, like body language, gestures, and facial expressions, helping me get a more accurate impression. Thirdly, when we meet in person, the conversation isn’t restricted by initial questions, allowing for more depth. I can better understand the context and story of the person I’m talking to, allowing me to personalize my advice and give the most relevant answers.
I always appreciate those who proactively reach out to others for advice and help. While on the topic, I’d also like to encourage young people not to be afraid of reaching out. This could be a separate post on its own—just apply some sales tactics—but in short:
- When adding a connection on LinkedIn, include an introductory message about who you are and why you’re reaching out. The person will get a notification, check out your profile, and it increases the chances of them accepting your request. You could also like or comment on 3-4 recent posts of theirs so they get a notification.
- After they accept the connection, send a follow-up message with more specific information, but don’t make it too long or include too many questions to avoid overwhelming them. The principle is that the length of your message should correlate with their level of interest. If you ask for too much initially, there’s a high chance they will drop off. The deeper they go down the conversion funnel, the more committed they’ll be and the more time they’ll dedicate to you.
- If after a few days they haven’t replied, send a reminder. You could add another touchpoint by viewing their profile or commenting on their posts.
- If there’s still no response, follow up again a few days later.
- Have the right mindset: don’t fear rejection. Think of it this way: it’s normal for people not to help; it’s “unusual” if they do. There’s no reason to be upset. Don’t take it personally. Everyone is busy, and forgetting is inevitable—I forget important things myself, let alone messages from strangers. No one is obligated to help you; if they choose to, appreciate it. If not, that’s okay too. They may have one reason to help or a thousand reasons not to. If one person doesn’t respond, message ten people—there will always be someone willing to help. Stay positive. Instead of feeling bad that you reached out to ten people and nine didn’t reply, be happy that one did. Trust me, if you message ten people, you’ll be surprised by how many of them will respond warmly and even help you (assuming you’re not spamming them with ads or scams, of course).
That said, it doesn’t mean I say yes to everyone who reaches out. I’m just one person with only 24 hours in a day, with enough important tasks and people I need to focus on. I’ve lived long enough to understand the value of limited time. Currently, I don’t have any products or courses to sell. All mentorship programs or meetings I’ve participated in so far have been voluntary, unpaid (one program did charge the mentee, but the fee went to charity, and I didn’t take a cent). So whom I meet and connect with depends on multiple factors from both sides, and I believe there’s a certain serendipity involved.
Fortunately, I’ve found a commonality with everyone who’s ever reached out to me. I haven’t yet encountered anyone who’s made me wonder, “Am I too free? Why on earth am I doing this?” Maybe it’s that the type of person I am tends to attract similar people. I only feel like I’ve gained more; I haven’t felt like I’ve lost anything. From strangers halfway across the globe, I’ve made many new and incredible friends. Some of them have even enthusiastically invited me to visit their countries or cities. I hope that next year I can sort out my personal matters so I can pick up my backpack and hit the road again.
